Fundamentally, courageous conversations are about building trusted relationships and solving tricky problems. Having them is a skill that supports the move to a new way of working in a few ways. Firstly it can help an organisation tackle what is at the root of some stubborn or sticky cultural change issues i.e. "why can't we drive collaboration - really?". Also once the organisation has moved into their new way of working, courageous conversations help address why people are not working in the desired new way.
However, when bringing up the topic of having courageous conversations I often sense, if not actually hear, a slight collective sigh. “Why would be want to put ourselves through the discomfort of having a courageous conversation!?"
Discomfort maybe, but it’s worth investing in some development in this area and pushing through the discomfort because on the other side of tackling your toughest issue is relief, success, peace, health, freedom from stress, a high performing team and healthier relationships.
So – how do you do it?
Firstly - identify what the Courageous Conversation is that you need to have, by identifying your most pressing issue.
Secondly - clarify the issue. Ask yourself what is going on? How long has it been going on? How bad is it?
THEN - you start to write down the framing of the situation.
- Name the Issue
- Select a specific example
- Describe your emotions about this issue.
- Clarify what’s at stake - for the person you’re talking to, for you, and for the company.
- Identify your contribution to this problem.
- Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
- Invite your partner to resolve.
In the end...
We know that comfort doesn’t always contribute to continuous improvement. Learn to reframe the feeling of discomfort as highlighting an opportunity to develop – a relationship, your understanding or a new innovative solution. If you’re brave enough to embark on implementing a new way of working, you have proven you are brave enough to have a courageous conversation to help you do so. Remember, the most courageous part of having a courageous conversation, is starting it…
For more information, visit the guru of courageous conversations Susan Scotts via her website at http://www.fierceinc.com. Or call us to discuss facilitating a session on this for you.
- Millie
Join in the conversation with us, and let us know what you think below...